IT'S A QUIET THING

Almost 2 years BONGO IS ME has been open ..
I have always found words to write....
but now I find myself in such a deep black hole ....
that I have lost interest in everything including this blog I once loved..
I've lost interest in reading and writing and i am consumed with my own death..

A week ago I made a feeble attempt at taking my life...
it was very quiet..even P didn't know till I woke up the next day......
I've stopped talkin to people I love...
and never leave my room unless I have to..
I've done nothing for my kids or myself.....
and I completely shut down..
for not only didn't i have words for this blog..
i had no words for P.....

I guess you would call this depression and add DID ...
and everything is more complicated.....
others from inside that are rarely see have come up front....
I wake up many nights on the floor....
I find this weekend to be harder then other because my boys are leaving ...

for a month to spend with their father in Ireland..
a complicated story...
everything in me is scared,,
I want nothing more then to close my eyes and never wake up...
there has been so much sickness and death lately..
famous and not famous..
and it all makes me sick...
and then I realized how easily I could slip away..
 and no one except those very close would even have a clue...
death should be quiet very quiet..
no one should ever know you're real plan..
and no one should know until it's over...

I wish I understood what's goin on ...
I wish i understood my own mind....
I wish it was over....

together I love you

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struggling/ Blog closed

It's no secret that I am struggling ...I am temporarily closing down Bongo is me.. you can still join the hop or read and comment what you want too...

I need space away from people and interaction..

Sorry Bonnie

BLOGGING AND FRIENDS/BLOG HOP

Welcome to the 'Blogging and Friends' blog hop.  We are happy to see you here and look forward to reading your thoughts and ideas.  We would like to take a moment to thank you for participating and share with you a few simple rules:

1.  Write a post about Blogging and Friends.  You can write about yourself or you can compare and contrast to another friend's blog.  Include the following intro to your post:

Linking into the 'Blogging and Friends' blog hop at

 Bongo Is Me 

and 

Living with Food Allergies and Celiac Disease.

2.  Follow the instructions and leave your link to your blog post (please do not submit the link to your blog) at the linky available at co-hosts sites.

3.  Blog hops are a great way to meet new bloggers and read new material, so don't forget to visit other participant's entries and show them some love.

4. This linky will remain open through the 31st of May at midnight.

And here's my story.. I hope you like it ....

When I first started this blog  I had no idea what to do...
I didn't know anything about networking...

I continued writing....
the only one to read it was my therapist at that time....
I'd read others blogs and leave comments...
and little by little I learned along the way.....

Then the fear hit...
I was writing about past abuse...
my therapy....
and my mental health diagnosis ( DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder )....
How could I ever let anyone read this??

My thought process changed constantly....

Then I started to receive comments...
most were telling me how they appreciated me...
writing and sharing what they could not share themselves.....
so I started thinking....
maybe I could somehow in my struggles touch another....
and let them know they are not alone in this...

for each comment I would click on there name...
and read and comment on their blog....
one blog I found was :

 Living With Food Allergies And Celiac Disease

About a Mom (Mary) who was writing about her daughter and struggles with...
Celiac Disease and food allergies...

I had never heard of Celiac Disease and was amazed at this woman's strength..
though we had totally 2 different subjects for blogging..
we still connected...
and through  our blogs built a relationship....
which is still strong today..
Mary and I have been able to meet a few times...
and we both look forward to our times together....

We are also both members of a beautiful secret blogging group on Facebook...
This is a very supportive and loving group...
We along with the other members have grown as people and bloggers....
I have received more love and support through this group than I have ever known...
this group named Blogplicity has and will remain very close to my heart....

We are not about numbers we are about .....
relationships....love ....support and interaction....

We are extending to YOU an invitation to join us in Blogplicity...
If you are a blogger...
that likes to build relationships...
that likes to give and receive support...
that likes to interact...
and interested in growing as a blogger ...
please use the pink contact me button with you're FB name and a link to your blog...
We would love to have you with us...

I look forward to connecting with each and everyone of you ....
through words...


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