4 days off was a reprieve...
I missed seeing P but did not miss talking about stuff..
I didn't have to worry bout talking,...
Bongo was there..
and I was very aware...
the thoughts swirling in my head but.....
totally different thoughts came out of my mouth...
WTF..
yep Bongo was there......
I'm totally exhausted now ..
my task of avoidance is hard work.....
She caught me in a couple of scenes ..
but Bongo saved me ....a
nd the subject was avoided and
on to the next.....
She says she gave me a break today ..
the the rest of the week we have work...I want to see P I miss her ...
but I don't wanna bring up all the muck again...
the nightmares the sobbing will alll start again...
Bongo can't save me forever...
why does anyone go to therapy....
why would you want to talk about things that hurt....
things you're ashamed of....
why go to therapy at all?????
I still don't know why I go....
time and again I show up at my scheduled time..
I'm there for an hour ..sometimes 2 hours....
and I sob for days after...
I cut myself to relieve the pain..
why??????
why go??????
I'm still waiting for an answer....I'll let ya all know how it goes.......
and if you have an answer ....
Please please let me know....
As always.....
